What makes a good mom-friend? A whole lot of the same stuff that makes a good doula.
It's the ability and willingness to be REAL.
This job is hard, man. And with all that "Mommy Wars" crap that's going on out there nowadays, well, moms are making it even harder - on themselves, and on each other.
I've found that the friends I hold most dear in this stage of my life - the messy, loud, bodily fluid filled stage - are the ones who don't make me feel crazy or unorganized or less than. They make me feel understood and normal and REAL, because wouldn't you know it- their lives are messy and loud too! And the best part? They don't even try to hide it. Which means I don't have to either!
Sometimes I send pictures to them that look like this:
And they send one right back that looks like this:
And sometimes, that simple, "You and me both, sister." is all it takes for me to feel like I'm doing alright. Because my friend? She's AMAZING. If her house looks like mine, if her kid throws fits too, if she sometimes burns the crap out of her family's dinner and lets the laundry pile up until she simply cannot wear her jeans ONE more time... If she can do all those things and still be AMAZING, then maybe I can too. Maybe I'm not so bad at this, afterall. Maybe, I'm just REAL.
So here's what I propose. Let's stop the charade, ladies. I don't want to play "100 Days of Happy" or "100 Days of Bliss" because frankly, though every day with my babies has happy moments (for sure!), there's a whole lot of other "stuff" that goes on behind the scenes. I want to share my happy moments and I want to see yours too, but I also want every mom to know that it's ok if on day 27, all you have to take a picture of is the trail of muddy footprints on your carpet. Some days are like that.
(Even in Australia.)
Follow me on instagram @LifesLightDoulaAli, or on Facebook, and please join me as I celebrate #100DaysofBeingReal.
You are AMAZING, mamas. Even with a sink full of dishes.